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World of Westchase

May 2008

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WOW thanks all residents – especially Westchase's board of directors, CDD supervisors and VMs – for their great and tolerant senses of humor. The WOW publisher also extends his thanks to photographer Teresa Trubilla, who captured the image featured on the cover, WOW’s graphic designer Hillary Tucker, who developed three logos and the forged photographs, and Bridges resident Dave Morris, who generously agreed to be photographed as the fictitious naming consultant, Hiram Stubbles of Fletcher, Wetchit and Van der Hootch.

WOW runs some of our great residents’ reactions below. We’re withholding the names to encourage others who have been fooled to ’fess up too.

Our first reaction was left on the WOW editor’s phone by a resident of Harbor Links/The Estates:

You are totally evil. I love it! You had me even to the point where I called (Harbor Links/The Estates VM) Nancy Sells and said, “Please tell me this is an April Fool’s joke!”

And then I finally read the whole article. Do you stay up nights thinking up these things? It was great!

Another resident e-mailed from work:

WOW!! You guys got me good! I was all fired up about the name change, and even went into work telling my co-workers about it. One of my coworkers just bought a house on Friday in Woodbay, and I was explaining to him how it was now going to be called Wouldbay. Samuel Clemens did an awesome job. That article was so detailed, I never once thought it was a joke. I was ready to send off several e-mails to Russell Stabuach, the WCA, and even 8 on Your Side! Good thing I finally read the small print on the Web site article!

Good one!

From a Keswick forest resident:

The WOW got me. I read the first part of the article and called my husband to tell him about it. I couldn’t believe that (Keswick Forest VM) Tish Dietrich had held that info back from us.

Then he must have thought about it and called me back to remind me it was April Fool’s Day – you made a good point in your Publisher's Note about reading an article in its entirety.

I was so close to e-mailing Westchase Property Manager Patty Stewart about the Westchase Swim Team Booster Club name! That was pretty convincing.

From an Abbotsford resident:

I was so pissed a couple of years back with the manatee mailboxes story that I swore I wouldn't get caught again. I was ready to move out of Westchase over it. This one was great!! I could easily see how something like this could happen and I fell for it hook, line, and sinker.

You do a great job and we are fortunate to have someone like you here! Thanks!

From a resident of The Fords (or The Fijords, as he signed it):

I have been a resident of Westchase for eight years now and it never fails. Year after year I am caught off guard by your WOW April Fool’s Day articles. Considering the litigious society we live in today, I found this year’s story very believable, only to read it through to the end and realize that I had been fooled again.

Great job on the article and I look forward to getting fooled again next year.

From a Westchase resident who was left less than pleased by the tradition (the editor, who apologized to the resident, feels compelled to note that WOW is entirely supported by just its own advertising revenue):

I received my WOW magazine yesterday. I immediately went to the cover article and began reading about the fate of the Westchase name and the poor residents who would ultimately be paying for the association's oversight.

As I did not read the editor’s note which informed that this was an April Fool’s joke, I spent an angry, sleepless night over the association's stupidity. I was up all night trying to find ways that I could afford the inevitable special assessment. It was not until this AM when I called a fellow Westchase resident that I found out about the annual joke. I do not think that this is funny!

You may say that I should have known about this after having lived here for several years but I didn't. Also, what about people that just moved in? Do you think that they know about the annual joke?

I am sure that I am somehow paying for this magazine and I resent the fact that you are wasting time and spending my hard earned dollars on such nonsense.

From a resident of The Bridges:

The April cover story was quite clever. I read the cover and quickly delved into the story. All along, I was thinking that I was in the twilight zone and was amazed that these nuts who attended the meeting live among us. It was a sigh of relief when I finally got to the final fine print.

The following Westchase resident was the only one who sent his response to the April Fool’s article prior to catching on to the gag:

I finished reading the most recent column, "What Will We Call Westchase,” and after a nice glass of wine I decided an e-mail must be written...

I have to first start by asking what moron dropped the ball on the trademark renewal? With all the money we shell out to HOAs, etc., you would think we would be able to hire a competent person to look over our legal agreements: "Hello McFly, we have tons of companies that use the word Westchase.”

I can only hope someone brought the person in to the manager’s office and gave them the old D. Trump: “YOU'RE FIRED!”

Whackasoogie, The Beverly Hamptons, Hillsville - are you kidding me?

I assume we are utilizing the same incompetent person to rebrand our community. I am not sure where we pulled these names from. My assumption is that it was too difficult to try and stay with a West____ or ____Chase. Glenfield VM Sue Syatauw states in the article "I've never even liked the name... half the world's idiots can't even figure out the [name]". Well, what "idiot" do you think will be able to say the word WHACKASOOGIE?

All in all, I find it really sad that we are forced to change our identity because we "dropped the ball." Hopefully 10 years from now we will not be forced to go through this again.

The editor, fearing for his life, wrote back:

Many thanks for your letter. It's always great to hear that Westchase residents are reading the magazine.

This month I began and ended my publisher notes with the same sentence: Don’t blink and always read to the end.

My guess is that you missed reading the editor's note at the end of the cover story. I would strongly suggest another glass of wine before going back and reading it.

The good natured resident e-mailed again the next morning:

CLASSIC!!! That flat out is the best April Fool's yet. Thanks for putting out a great publication.

And we conclude with the funniest response of all, from a couple in Harbor Links/The Estates, who also copied their VM, Nancy Sells:

The April Fool's joke is totally on me. I must have spent 1 1/2 hours writing the epistle below. I went back to WOW to get the editor's email address. Then I saw the "read to the very end" message and the light came on!! Then I went to the end of the article and saw the small print explanation. Oh man!! What a job! My wife and I were totally infuriated all last night. I could not believe it. At least you can spend the time to read my absurd response. Nancy, I apologize. Christopher, I owe you one. I even thought about the April Fool's bit, but this one was way over the top and took a lot of work by someone. Couldn't possibly be a joke, I concluded! Oh well. I thought everyone had lost their minds except for me.

This is what I wrote before figuring it out:

UNBELIEVABLE!!

That is the only word that instantly comes to mind. How in the world could a management and representative organization totally forget about expirations of trademarks? Maybe the second word should be "incompetent," huh?

And those who are saying that none of this matters truly fit in that latter category. Our name is our recognition to the entire outside environment. Everyone knows, appreciates, and is envious of WESTCHASE. Has been, and will be, until such time as our glorious management group takes the unbelievable and unparalleled step to let us call ourselves Whackasoogie. Are you kidding me?! That will certainly take care of the "envy" part. We can then be known as the laughing stock of Tampa Bay - maybe even Florida, or the nation, if the word gets out. Can you imagine Jay Leno's monologue if he found all of this out?

I am a Florida State Seminole through-and-through. Three daughters went there in addition to my graduate program. I totally respect the Tribe, their history, and their contributions to Florida, however,.............name a real estate development Whackasoogie? Unbelievable. Hopefully, this has all been an April Fool's joke on us. That would be the only explanation that makes any sense at all. The rest are ridiculous!

Under the assumption that this is a real threat, who is it among us that is to be assumed to be using their head? Evidently, no one.

Staubach is far over-reaching his greed. Doesn't anyone understand that he has launched a trial balloon to see if we flinch, or worse yet, are stupid enough to take him seriously? Heaven forbid we take his stupid offer seriously. Do we have at least one negotiator among us in our illustrious management organization? He gets one of two numbers –his choice – as a permanent settlement, not annual. The first is whatever it takes for us to change all of the traces of Westchase to some acceptable alternative (heaven forbid it would be any of the three thus far placed under consideration). In my estimation, that would seem to be approximately $250,000 to $400,000 (essentially blackmail blood-money, but tolerable considering the alternatives). That provides negotiating room. We will spend that anyway if all else fails. The $750K estimate from our dear friend Stubble is outrageous, just like his choices. This time let's use our heads. The second is ZERO. That is what he gets if he is totally stupid, which I doubt. Clearly, he is smarter than us, and far more shrewd. Take $250K and walk away from us forever, or just walk away with nothing and we will make minimal necessary changes to avoid the trademark laws. In his shoes which would you take?

$1M in ransom money, and per year even, is NOT our only alternative!! He is playing with us. Get real!

I would hope that our residents would be satisfied with a $100 to $200 assessment to make this go away. Or maybe the same people who totally dropped the ball should personally pay the tab.

And which turnip truck did this Stubbles guy climb off? If he is one of the best in the state, we are all in trouble. Maybe they should find some real creative people if this ridiculous saga must continue. Clearly we must prepare, and be fully ready to act, but in a meaningful way - not stupidity. And those who say the name does not matter and will be forgotten in ten years are among the most stupid. Maybe we should use "Whackastupid" for our calling card, cuz that is what we would be. A total community laughing stock!! Or maybe use his hillbilly, redneck idea - same end result. And the third one is totally off-the-wall. To stay consistent maybe we should use "Beverly Hillbillies" by combining two. Or is that one already taken by some old idiotic TV show? It is totally scary that our fate lies in such hands. And we paid him $16,000!!
We are back to that introductory word again - unbelievable.

IF, in the final analysis everyone stays stupid, and we have to make minimal and nominal changes, I submit the following for consideration in circumventing the trademark laws. I am no market research organization, but 40 years of business negotiation must have rubbed something off.

If not Westchase any more, how about "Wystchase." Using Stubbles' idea for the revised logo. Looks about the same, pronounced about the same, and only one letter has to change on all of the signage. We would not have to travel around the metro area hanging our heads in shame as laughing-stocks. Alternative name could be "Wistchase." Why attempt to outsmart ourselves - Whackasoogie? You must be kidding, huh? I would love to meet the folks who said that was a great idea. Whacka-their-heads!

Community name changes need not be any more revised than that for our development.

Many of the offered ideas for community changes are not offensive, but the name of this game is "minimal change to get past the trademark restrictions." Let Staubach spend the money to sue if he thinks something remains in dispute.

Berkeley Rhombus is absurd! If I lived in that community, I would move. How about Burkeley Sound, or maybe even Burkley Square would pass the test.

Verdigris is equally as absurd. I would move. How about Grenes or Griens or some derivative thereof?

And on we go.

Keswick Florist is stupid. And the corporate participation is even more stupid and remote. How about Keswyck Foryste?

West Perk Village does not remind me of coffee perking at Starbucks, or anyplace else. With the above change to the development, the village could then become Wyst Park Village.

Clearly, the community must move ahead as if we are not going to be blackmailed by Mr. Greed; however, there is a world of possibilities to deal with him - the last resort to tell him to "pound sand." I do not believe that any small group should control the ultimate change if it comes to that, which I doubt. Certainly our leadership has shown that they are not up to the task (present company clearly excluded). On the other hand I think only the residents of a community should define the acceptable change in name for that unit. They are the ones most impacted and most vulnerable to outside pressure and comment.

Residents are politely reminded that the next April Fool’s Day is currently scheduled for April 1, 2009.