A theme I’ve noticed lately in my practice is what I refer to as the myth of motherhood. Women today often find themselves feeling frustrated, impatient, angry and even helpless when faced with raising children. Much of their distress is rooted in an anxious and fearful collection of what ifs: what if I am not doing an adequate job and what if my children suffer from my failures?

But what if we accept that it is a myth to believe that motherhood is all rosy, fulfilling and straightforward?

What if we knew that most moms share similar doubts, flaws and imperfections? What if we try to stick to what we know for sure, rather than let fear steal our confidence? What if we could really focus our full attention on the here and now?

The practice of being truly present in the here and now is at the heart of mindfulness. I consider mindfulness as the other half of the psychotherapy equation – along with a cognitive-behavioral approach that teaches how automatic and distorted thoughts trigger feelings and behaviors and how we can change them.

Yet how do we apply mindfulness to the daily challenge of a crying child, the hundredth time your son leaves his wet towel on the carpet, the constant bickering over who gets to go first, the spilled milk or your daughter’s complaint that “You just don’t understand me!”?

The idea of paying closer attention to the moment when the moment is one of frustration and chaos may seem counterintuitive. In reality, its power will surprise you. To live mindfully is to simply notice the moment in which you find yourself – and then to notice it even more. It is not judging the moment or wishing it were different. It is not about changing anything. It is accepting the noise, hearing the laughter, and noticing the milk as it pools around the overturned glass.

What if you tried it right now? What if you paid closer attention to this moment right here? You might notice the rise and fall of your chest when you breathe in and out. What if you didn’t judge how well or how deeply you are breathing, but just found yourself more aware of it?

That’s how it works.

In other words, when you learn how to recognize and replace negative, automatic thoughts with more rational ones and how to practice living in the present without judgment (when in doubt, ask yourself, “What do I know for sure?”), chances are, what you do know for sure will prove less scary and daunting than what you’ve feared all along.

Mastering these two practices may be the key to disarming the motherhood myth for each of us – while helping to create our own motherhood reality.

So, what am I sure of as I try to finish writing this column before it’s overdue? I may not be sure of what I will make my children for lunch tomorrow, if they have enough clean laundry, or if they will get to school on time. But I do know with certainty that in this moment all is well, the house is quiet, I notice my breath in and out, and I am OK.

It may not sound like much, but it is my wish for all of you to be able to enjoy one mindful moment after another on Mother’s Day.

And everyday.

Friedman is a psychologist with Florida Medical Psychology Associates at www.flmedpsych.com.